A close encounter of the homeless kind

Tonight Krysta and myself ventured into Des Moines for 515 Alive. Most people who visit 515 Alive expect to see DJs, break dancers, and drunk people. We, however, had a different kind of experience. Whist watching these DJs, break dancers, and drunk people we had a close encounter of the homeless kind. Actually, Krysta had this encounter; I just watched.

We were just minding our own business, sitting on a ledge at Nolan Plaza, when a homeless drunk man came up and seductively touched Krysta's foot. He also made a really creepy noise. She will tell you it wasn't seductive, but I know better.

-Ashley

Ugh.

So Krysta and I were minding our own business, doing the crossword puzzle in the Des Moines Register, and eating some food at Perkins when a waitress brought over a note. We find out that it is courtesy of three scary old men. They invited us to the Iowa State Fair and gave us their number. I feel very violated, and probably need to take a shower to wash off all of the ickyness. We need boys to take with us to these places late at night. Inquire within.

-Ashley

So if the answer is no
Can I change your mind

Twenty one things that I want in a lover. - Alanis Morissette

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity, but know that it alone does not equate wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion, but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine?
Politically aware?
And don't believe in capital punishment?

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that loving someone can actually feel like freedom?
Are you funny?
à la self-deprecating?
Like adventure?
And have many formed opinions?

Are you uninhibited in bed?
More than three times a week?
Up for being experimental?
Are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Are you not addicted?
Are you curious and communicative?

These are twenty one things I want in a lover.
Not necessarily needs, but qualities that I prefer.
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter.
These are twenty one things I choose to choose in a lover.

What it's like.

I am unhappy with Bush's appointment for the supreme court.
I am unamused with some of the actions taken by my friends.
I am sunburnt.
I am happy, though.
So happy that I'm shouting euphemisms.

-Ashley

I’ve seen a rich man beg
I’ve seen good man sin
I’ve seen a tough man cry
I’ve seen a loser win
And a sad man grin
I’ve heard an honest man lie

I’ve seen the good side of bad
And the down side of up
And everything between

I licked the silver spoon
Drank from the golden cup
And smoked the finest green

I stroked daddy’s dimes at least a couple of times
Before I broke their hearts
You know where it ends
Yeah, it usually depends on where you start

I guarantee you won't die twice.

This weekend Krysta and I ventured to Red Rock Lake to go boating with Joe. Also attending our adventure were Joe’s brother, dad, and dad’s girlfriend. Though they took a minute or two to get used to they were always a fun time despite the fact that I had to see the girlfriend’s boobies and Nate’s bum.

After finding that our tent was possibly the most poorly designed thing I've ever seen and then attempting and barely suceeding in setting it up we all went out to the lake. Krysta and I attempted to water ski, but before doing so we asked, “We won’t die, right?” Not being able to promise that Joe’s dad told us, “Well, I guarantee you won’t die twice.” In case you were wondering…water skiing kicked both of our asses.

We did a little chillaxin’ on the lake, and did some 180s in Nate’s jet boat. Later in the day we went to the shoddy tent and ate “burnt on one side polish sausages” and obnoxious amounts of corn (cooked in the husk.)

Festivities were had later that night. DJ convinced Krysta to do situps and pushups with him. I drank out of a flask. Krysta dove behind Nate’s tent to avoid the sheriff. Joe swore the table was blowing away. I had to hold Brian’s hand in order to get him back to the campsite. A man also knocked on our tent and exclaimed, “Could you guys keep it down? My nephew is out here running around.” No one was entirely sure what that means, though we obliged.

In the morning, at the oh so early hour of 8:30am we stumble out of the (rediculously designed) tent to find that the sheriff had been lurking around during the night scowering the campgrounds for a man harassing campsites. We belive the man with the supposed nephew may have been the perpetrator.

The next morning we went back out to the lake for a bit of boating and chillaxin’ before we headed home. The night consisted of Taco Johns, a Casey’s Pizza party, and Queer as Folk. We’re so exciting!

By the way, we have a new friend requirement: Must have boat.

-Ashley