Aristophanes once wrote, roughly translated; "Youth ages, immaturity is outgrown, ignorance can be educated, and drunkenness sobered, but STUPID lasts forever."

End O' Da' Year

Well, school is officially over for the year. I was quite impressed with my ridiculously awesome grade on my final math test. I'm eternally grateful to be done with the Graeve. Our board game rocked everyone else's in Econ. I also got to play a song, for my band final, that could be as demoralizing to Native Americans as the "Tomahawk Chop."

After my last final Krysta, Burton and I went on a Subway date. It was good for everyone.

I'm kind of excited for the music for this year's show. We're playing West Side Story. Some nervousness ensues as it is SO much different from anything else we've played. Justin cannot swing his eighth notes. Do you know how ridiculous it sounds when four basses swing their eights and one refuses? Oh well, just another f-ing thing to work on this year. There's also rumor of another solo bass feature with 32nd runs. You know, similar to the feature that we played correctly ONCE yesteryear. This should be an interesting year. Five basses. Me, the singular girl. And the boy who will not swing eights while playing West Side Story. What a ridiculous situation.

The other night I went to visit Joe Ross and met his new friend Tyler. I watched them write a song about being a stalker, and heard the ever popular and secretive song. "In the Mood." It was so good for me!

Tonight was good. Duck and I accompanied Cindy on her quest for job applications. She applied at no less than five thousand Starbucks locations. We then went to T'ccino. There we met Ryan, Nate, and Allison. We proceeded back to my house to watch Mean Girls and talk about nothing worth shouting home about.

I also got all of my music loaded onto my new notebook. I am looking forward to summer. I am excited to finish reading A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

-Ashley

Sara spelled without an 'h' was getting bored
On a Peavey amp in 1984
While Zak without a 'c' tried out some new guitars
Playing Sara-with-no-h's favorite song

Chuck Klosterman on math

Life is chock-full of lies, but the biggest lie is math. That’s particularly clear in the discipline of probability, a field of study that’s completely and wholly fake. When push comes to shove – when you truly get down to the core essence of existence – there is only one mathematical possibility: Everything is 50-50. Either something will happen, or something will not.

When you flip a coin, what are the odds of it coming up heads? 50-50, either it will be heads, or it will not. When you roll a six-sided die, what are the odds that you’ll roll a three? 50-50, you’ll either get a three, or you won’t. That’s reality. Don’t fall into the childish, “it’s one-in-six” logic trap. That is precisely what all your adolescent authority figures want you to believe. That’s how they enslave you. That’s how they stole your conviction, and that’s why you will never be happy. Either you will roll a three, or you will not; there are no other alternatives. The future has no memory. Certain things can be impossible, and certain things can be guaranteed – but there is no sliding scale for maybe. Maybe something will happen, or maybe it won’t. That’s all there is. What are the chances that your sister will die from ovarian cancer next summer? 50-50 (either she’ll die from ovarian cancer or she won’t). What are the chances that your sister will become America’s most respected underwater welding specialist? 50-50. It will happen, or it won’t. There are two possibilities, and both are plausible and unknown. The odds are 2:1. These facts are irrefutable.

Quasi-intellectuals like to claim that math is spiritual. They are lying. Math is not religion. Math is the anti-religion, because it splinters the gravity of life’s only imperative equation: Either something is true, or it isn’t. Do or do not; there is no try.

Pimpin' in Chicago

This weekend I took a trip to see Gwen at DePaul in Chicago. It was a ton of fun, and I met a lot of super awesome people. Check out the Package Deal blog for a list of the people.

Thursday was kind of a settling in day. I ate far too much sushi and met a boy, Scribbler, who was both Anarchist and Communist. I still believe that his particular political persuasion doesn’t really work in real life. I also learned that in Chicago people don’t argue Liberal v. Conservative like we do in Iowa; they argue Radical v. Liberal, which is really weird for me. Mike and Gabe told a story about vampires and sang some pretty songs for us.

Friday was shopping with mommy day in the morning, and then Radical Cheerleading day at some random coffee shop off the Jarvis stop. Krysta showed up later than night after lying to me, which is good for me. It was also exciting because I went to my first party that I had to be buzzed in to. You know, apartments have those little bell things, so you can let the people into the building. It was so fun for me.

We also went to The Weiner Circle, which is a hot dog stand run by a bunch of angry black women. They curse at you and it is SO great. Direct quote: “Which one of you skanky hos ordered this hot dog!?” We watched a bunch of drunk guys get into a fight, only to be broken up by the token white guy who works there. We met a nice boy named Brad, who I’m not totally sure wasn’t gay, and Gwen got an awkwardly placed kiss for some cheese fries.

On Saturday we went to see Wicked. It was amazing…SO GOOD! The costuming, the script, the music, the actors, it was just great. I can draw a whole lot of parallels from the musical to the world we experience every day. The witch, Elphaba, was not actually a bad person, however, was labeled in such a way by the society. The Wizard was not actually an amazing man, but was put in a position of power simply because the people needed someone to believe in. The relationship between Glinda and Elphaba was something to be examined, as well. They were two complete opposites drawn together in spite of themselves. The underlying love story, and the change of heart of Fierro showed that not everyone is all that fucked up and cold. The script was just absolutely brilliant. I don’t even need to mention how incredible the costuming was. In short, it was extraordinary; at the top of my list, indeed.

Later that night, after making a deal with our good friend Cory, there was ice cream to be had along with some French fries with the Heterosexual life partnership of Noah and Matt. I inappropriately called James McNab, SammyK, and Peter. Later we took a jaunt down to the lake, played in the sand, and looked at the moon. After awhile a boy named Josh made a great observation and said, “Guys, the Chicago police are watching us, and I’m not even lying.” We decided it’d be good to get to stepping, not to mention that is was ass-cold and very, very early in the morning.

Morning, wake up, take the train into the center of the city and walk though some kind of parade. It was really weird for me. All in all, what a good weekend! It was so much better than doing all of the homework and studying for AP tests that looms, so incredulously, over my head.

-Ashley

I never asked for this
Or planned it in advance
I was merely blown here
By the winds of chance
I never saw myself As a Solomon or Socrates
I knew who I was
One of your dime a dozen
Mediocrities