The Ankeny Band Fundraising Extravaganza
Some things that might go wrong while you are participating in the Ankeny Band Fundraising Extravaganza…
1. A man may answer the door clad in only his underwear and outrageously hairy chest. If I’m going to be forced to fund raise, have some dignity, put some pants on.
2. It could be raining…a lot.
3. You may be propositioned. Read: “Hey guys, there’s a hot wet chick at the door.”
4. Sometimes, if it’s raining out, people will be depressed and refuse to buy cards because they are so angry.
5. You might get disoriented and go to the same house twice…or three times.
6. A man’s dog might tackle you. It becomes a good thing when both the man and the dog are cute.
7. An angry middle aged man who runs the fund raiser might become crazy and start counting money and taking it and asking you three hundred times whose money it is. Every time you tell him you don’t know, he tells you that you’re an irresponsible person. You eventually laugh at him, and he gives you dirty looks.
8. This same middle aged man might tell you that your section is five hundred dollars short, and that you owe him the missing money. You might suggest that you should simply liquidate your college fund and give it all to him.
9. You might have to stay and count money for an hour wishing to be back in the rain with the underwear man and the horny boys.
And finally, here is a shout out to John McKay. Even those of us who knew him by reputation and an occasional word here and there see that the debate community and the world have lost an amazing person. Rest easy, John.
-Ashley
I thought I'd write, I thought I'd let you know
In the year since you've been gone I've finally let you go
I hope you find some time to drop a note
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone
1. A man may answer the door clad in only his underwear and outrageously hairy chest. If I’m going to be forced to fund raise, have some dignity, put some pants on.
2. It could be raining…a lot.
3. You may be propositioned. Read: “Hey guys, there’s a hot wet chick at the door.”
4. Sometimes, if it’s raining out, people will be depressed and refuse to buy cards because they are so angry.
5. You might get disoriented and go to the same house twice…or three times.
6. A man’s dog might tackle you. It becomes a good thing when both the man and the dog are cute.
7. An angry middle aged man who runs the fund raiser might become crazy and start counting money and taking it and asking you three hundred times whose money it is. Every time you tell him you don’t know, he tells you that you’re an irresponsible person. You eventually laugh at him, and he gives you dirty looks.
8. This same middle aged man might tell you that your section is five hundred dollars short, and that you owe him the missing money. You might suggest that you should simply liquidate your college fund and give it all to him.
9. You might have to stay and count money for an hour wishing to be back in the rain with the underwear man and the horny boys.
And finally, here is a shout out to John McKay. Even those of us who knew him by reputation and an occasional word here and there see that the debate community and the world have lost an amazing person. Rest easy, John.
-Ashley
I thought I'd write, I thought I'd let you know
In the year since you've been gone I've finally let you go
I hope you find some time to drop a note
But if you won't
Then you won't
And I will consider you gone
posted by findingashley at
12:01 AM
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